1.31.2013

Definitely Not Living Life to the Fullest!

Fifteen years ago I gave up on me and I have no clue why. I was 30 years old. My oldest was 4 at the time and I convinced the hubby that it would be a fabulous idea to move to Kingsland, Georgia. We had only been stationed in Virginia for 2 years at the time. Moving put us closer to my mom and my grandparents because they had all moved there in the couple of years before that time. I left a job that I was really good at doing to go to an uncertainty of work. The hubby ended up staying in Virginia for a year after we purchased our home in Georgia because he had to wait for orders to be able to move.

I've been trying to figure out how I got to where I am at now mentally and physically. Is knowing how we got somewhere important so that we can change direction and get to a different place? Was it the move to small town USA, was it the year I spent working 40-50 hrs. a week at a job I hated all while trying to raise our son by myself, was it the stress of trying to make 2 house payments because we couldn't get our Virginia house sold for a year, or maybe it was all of the above. Even after 15 years I have not been able to pull myself completely out of the funk.

So what do you think causes a seemingly sane person to just all of a sudden give up on everything they have ever worked for or enjoyed and go the complete opposite direction? I went from someone who never missed a hair appointment, was thin, stylish in dress and loved to go dancing to someone who stopped wearing makeup or taking care of my skin properly, didn't do more than necessary with my hair, gained a bunch of weight and started wearing clothes that some grandmother might wear as well as no longer finding enjoyment in anything in life.

So just how does a stressed out, overweight, frumpy, uninspired, hot flash suffering, 45 year old woman rediscover who she is suppose to be and the life she is suppose to live?

2 comments:

  1. Hi Suzanne... I really have no advice, I just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking of you and hopefully you'll find what it is your life is missing. Hugs, Jovi

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