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Friendships or Lack Thereof

Today I took a few minutes in the reading room (also known as the master bathroom in my house) to read the newest Redbook magazine. The article about Kellie Pickler shaving her head made me sad. If you haven't read it you can find it here - What Kellie Pickler Learned From Being Bald.

And it wasn't that she shaved her head or even the reason for why that made me sad. Yes I know she isn't the first person to do something like this for a friend but it is still such a sweet gesture. This story made me have to face again that I have no one that would drop everything for me or that would love me enough to go to this kind of extreme gesture of love and kindness. 

I'm sure that my friends care about me but never in my life have I felt the kind of friendship that I hear others speak of when they talk about their BFF. I have definitely tried to find that one special girlfriend and at the age of 45 I cannot think of one person that I could call and know that they would drop everything for me. What exactly does that say about me as a person?

Not sure if I should take it as a sign that after reading that article I happened to have the Katie Couric show on (not a show I normally watch) and her whole show was talking about friendships.  It just added to the sad thoughts about this subject and how it is something that I am very much lacking in my life.

As with normal life I grew away from my school friendships after graduation and moving away from my hometown. Although we have reconnected with one another after many years thanks to Facebook. I didn't attend college so I don't have those friendships that most people obtain that tend to last a lifetime. And with the many moves that I have made over the years being married to a military man it hasn't afforded me time to nurture friendships the way they need. I have people here locally that I consider friends but not any that I would call a best friend or that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I could count on no matter what comes along in my life. My online friends are great to chat with but it isn't the same as being able to do lunch or go shopping with your BFF.

At this time in my life I am really craving that kind of relationship and I'm not sure even how to begin to find it and make it happen.  So how do I go about changing this and finding that one person to have in my life?


  1. Hi Suzanne,
    I've been away from reading blogs for a long time - that's why this response is so delayed. :) Man, I could have written this post! Every thing you mentioned mirrors my own life. The only exception is that I'm getting close to 56 and still don't have a really close friend. I've got friends I can go to lunch with once in a while, but no one I would confide in or that would drop everything for me. My closest friend even backed out of driving me to outpatient surgery the day before it was scheduled! I don't know why this is since I've always been the friend that other people counted on, and I've dropped everything on many occasions. That really leaves me confused about what it is about me that leads me here. I went through a period where I was very concerned and sad about this. Now I have reached a place that I'm more at peace with being a loner. If besties leave me hanging on the day of surgery, I think I'm actually better off without them. True happiness come from within anyway. I wish we lived closer, I'd invite you to a nice lunch out... oh and I haven't made it to the next post yet but I saw something about pant suits and I totally would have said something!

    1. Hey Chia! It is nice to know that I am not alone in this and it is good to hear from you again.

  2. I feel so lucky to be blessed with 2 really close friends that are like my sisters. But I had lots of similar feelings around men for years, finally marrying at age 47. I do think that love and friendships can come at any age, with the intention put keep putting yourself out there and believe!

    1. Hi Dawn! Thanks for your comment and I keep hoping that this will happen one day.

  3. Suzanne~
    Thanks for stopping by a few days back and leaving a comment about the Sleep Number bed. We are VERY excited to be trying it out. We can't wait to get it.

    Aw, I feel you with this post. Growing up I never really had any REAL close friends. I guess when you're young, sometimes you just understand what it takes to BE a good friend or cherish them.. or I think.. God just wants you to be able to look back and see where He has been there for you..

    As I've gotten older, I have found some REALLY dear dear friends, but like you said, I'm not sure if they would do something like this... My husband is my best friend I know he would do it in a heart beat, but I guess in the end, it makes me appreciate what God HAS done for me and allows me to be thankful for what I have.

    Praying you have a GREAT day and find some really sweet dear friendships come along your way soon!!



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